It doesn't matter if you're a meth addict or a pill popper, a binge drinker or bottle hider, smoke 3 packs a day or 6 joints a day. The chances of kicking your habit on your own -- and sticking with it -- are slim at best. You cannot fight true addiction with willpower. It's a physiological and psychological craving -- way too strong at the cellular level to "just say no."
But you've already figured that out. So now what?
If you have an honest, trusting relationship with your healthcare provider, mention to him/her that you're trying to quit. Many health plans offer smoking cessation and chemical dependency programs.
You'll also want to check out how real people (who once were struggling just like you) live drug/alcohol free. Go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. It's free and there's no obligation. The members will welcome you with open arms and share everything you need to know. Peer-to-peer support is incredibly powerful and effective.
Do Whatever it Takes:
If at first you don't succeed, try something different. For some people, attending 12-Step (AA or NA) meetings is enough. Many sufferers require more help. You can try an outpatient program where you take classes to learn about addiction and yourself. These programs will drug/alcohol test you to make sure you're not using between sessions. For some people, this level of
accountability is sufficient.
accountability is sufficient.
For others, an inpatient rehabilitation (aka "rehab") is needed. These 30, 60 or 90-day programs immerse you in recovery. One to three months in a drug/alcohol-free environment can be a great way to jump-start your clean and sober life.
If you're trying to put down the cancer sticks, there are different schools of thought. Some people advocate going cold turkey for best results. Butagain, it doesn't work for everybody. That's why they make nicotine patches and gum! There's even a smoker's anonymous group.
Change Your Attitude:
Changing your attitude about drugs/alcohol/smoking is twofold. First, your relationship to your drug(s) of choice will shift. It will stop being the center of your universe. You'll stop romancing and depending on it to get through your day. You'll start viewing it as poison, lethal, disgusting.
At the same time, your attitude about yourself and your place in the world -- including what the world owes you or has or hasn't done to/for you -- will evolve. The process of giving up an addiction is actually a process of "getting." You get a positive outlook -- an outlook you likely haven't felt since you started using... if ever.
Change Your Playground:
If you continue to go to your old haunts, you're putting a lot of undue pressure on yourself. Why tempt fate? Take a different route home from work so you don't pass your usual supplier.
So what about your home? Obviously you'll want to cleanse your environment of anything and everything that might be a "trigger" for relapse. It's not uncommon for newly sober people to move from rehab into a transitional sober living situation to give themselves a stronger foundation before going "back there." It's usually not necessary to relocate, but it's an option if your home environment is just too toxic.
A note about smoking. Once your eyes, nose and throat become sensitized, you'll realize what others have been complaining about. It's a good idea to ban smoking in your home and car and seek out smoke-free environments to support your quitting.
Change Your Playmates:
It also means you are going to have some weeding out to do. Some old "friends" will naturally fall by the wayside. When the main thing you have in common with someone is getting loaded, and one of you stops getting loaded, what's left? Nothing. If you're used to hanging with a hard-drinking crowd, you will suddenly notice they're not nearly as entertaining how that they're slipping into silliness and you're sober.
Believe it or not, some people may not support your new lifestyle. They may not like the "new you" and seek to sabotage your efforts. Many people don't quite understand addiction and recovery and may (even innocently) offer you your old favorite ("just one drink won't hurt you!". Actually, it can). Such people may or may not mean well. However, you can't let their ignorance or ulterior motives get under your skin.
Can you realistically "fire" every person from your old life? Obviously that's impractical. But successful people in recovery naturally gravitate away from toxic old companions and replace them with a support system of clean and sober friends.
Feel Your Feelings:
But, after numbing your feelings for years with drugs/alcohol, you've forgotten what they feel like. Re-experiencing true happiness, joy, sadness, grief, frustration -- whatever it is -- can be unnerving at first. Don't worry. You'll get used to it!
Revel in Your Relationships:
As a clean/sober person, you get to "reinvent" yourself in the eyes of people you care about (and probably have hurt). Focus on being the best "you" you can be every day, being kind, helpful and generous. As you find yourself more engaged with other people, you'll discover you're much better able to deal with conflict and problems.
This is definitely an area where the "selfishness" of recovery leads to becoming more selfless.
Do Things -- Even Amazing Things:
Take way the alcohol, drugs and smokes and you find yourself with a lot of extra time, energy and money on your hands! I bet you once had interests that you gave up (to some degree, if not totally) because of your addiction. I bet there's at least one dream you'd love to pursue.
With a clear mind and cleansed body, clean/sober people can rise to a new level of personal excellence. It's not uncommon to take up new hobbies, change careers or go back to school. On a daily basis, you'll find opportunities for accomplishment where you once found frustration and failure.
HALT ... and Gentle With Yourself:
People overcoming addiction have escaped the clutches of a progressive, fatal illness. If you had survived cancer or a heart attack, would you beat yourself up for getting sick in the first place? Of course not.
It is important to stay in touch with your body and your feelings. If you start to feel restless, unsettled or angry with no obvious provocation, try this: H.A.L.T. It means, never let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
Trust me, it's much better to tend to these simple physical and emotional needs than to risk relapsing.
Celebrate Each Day, but Don't Get Cocky:
The key to living without your former crutch(es) is to recognize that both days are good for your growth in recovery. And both days are potentially dangerous -- if you don't stay vigilant.
Remember, you're dealing with a foe that's cunning, baffling, powerful, persuasive, and extraordinarily patient. You may feel you've got the tiger by the tail. But if you let down your guard even momentarily, that tiger will pounce.
Happy occasions are just as likely to invite relapse as stressful situations. But as long as you keep your guard up and don't allow yourself to be seduced into thinking you're "cured" (you're not)... you'll be fine.